Do This ONE Thing to Improve Your Marriage (3 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • November 21, 2022

Every car needs maintenance. Even a brand-new car that still has that great smell needs the oil changed and the tires rotated every so often. Being intentional about car maintenance keeps that car running great for many years to come.


But what about our marriage? Life gets busy and we often don’t do that same intentional maintenance to keep our marriage running smoothly.


The MOST important regular maintenance to do on your marriage is spending quality time together.


Therefore, continuing to date your spouse is key. I often tell couples with kids that you are certainly Mom and Dad now that you have kids. You’re also Husband and Wife and run the “family business” together. The role we often let fall by the wayside is continuing that Boyfriend and Girlfriend relationship even after years of marriage and parenting kids.


You need new adventures together.


I define a date as a pre-planned time that is intentionally set aside to do an activity together. This is NOT a date: “Hey, I’m starving. Want to grab a burger on the way home?”


I challenge couples to plan 10 dates per year, one each month. Each spouse should pick 5 activities (2 hours) that they would like to do with their spouse. Write your activities down on strips of paper and do a drawing on the first day of the month of what your date activity will be that month.


The other 2 months will be your anniversary month and 6 months from your anniversary month. Those months’ dates will consist of a short overnight activity out of town. Go within a day’s drive and see some new sights. It doesn’t have to break the bank. Go to Chattanooga to the TN Aquarium. Go to Memphis and eat BBQ. Go to Gatlinburg and walk the strip.


Here are some quick date ideas to get you started:

1.    Have dinner at a restaurant in The Avenue that neither of you have tried yet. Follow that up with some good old-fashioned bowling at LTA or Strike and Spare.

2.    Grab a cup of coffee at Joanie’s, Brass Horn, or Just Love and bring a pack of Uno cards. The best out of 5 games wins bragging rights.

3.    Grab a burger at Busters or Jack Browns and then exercise your inner lumberjack at one of the axe throwing places.

4.    Get a healthy smoothie at Vibe Nutrition or a bowl at Boro Bowls or The Boro Juice Bar on a Saturday morning and go for a walk on the greenway.


Send me your ideas of what you and your spouse love to do for dates.

Depression and Stagnation

By Daniel Crosby • October 20, 2025
Depression + Stagnation What do you do when you’re doing all the right things and still feel depression lingering? Depression isn’t an on/off switch that goes away overnight. It rarely gets better in an instant. There’s a progression to it. If you’re investing in some of the things we’re talking about in this series CONSISTENTLY then you’ll probably see some positive changes over time. In the meantime, try these ideas to help boost you out of your stagnation that you’re feeling. 1. Acknowledge progress over perfection. You didn’t get here overnight. Where did you begin and where are you now? What has improved? 2. Go serve someone else in a new way – Focusing on others is a good way to boost the way you feel about yourself. 3. Consider a shock to the system. A trip to a new place, a different therapist, a new hobby, a job change, or making a new friend can all make us feel alive again if we’re stagnant. Homework: Finish this statement: “In the last week, the thing I’m the most proud of myself for doing is_______.”
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Depression and Sleep Strugles

By Daniel Crosby • October 13, 2025
Depression + Sleep Struggles Sleep is one of the biggest struggles we face when we’re depressed. Oddly enough the diagnosis manual says “Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day” as one of the symptoms. Whether you can’t sleep at all or you’re sleeping all the time it can really rock your world. Maybe your mind is just spinning with all the jumble of thoughts in your head. Or maybe you have no energy and you’re struggling to just do the basics before going back to bed. Here are 3 ideas to get the sleep routine back on track: 1. Create a predictable wind-down ritual – Early dinner, Herbal tea, Warm bath, Good smelling lotion, Clean sheets and jammies. 2. Try “brain dump” journaling at night – Write down today’s wins and loses as well as tomorrow’s worries so your brain can let go of those things. You can relax better without ruminating on it because it’s written down. 3. Avoid doom scrolling— Replace screens with audio or soft light activity. Soothing. Uplifting reading. Devotional. Positive in/Positive out. If you must watch TV make sure it’s an emotion that competes with depression (funny!) Homework: Try a new bedtime strategy tonight and notice if it helps you wind down a little easier. Your brain and body will thank you tomorrow morning.
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Depression and Guilt & Shame

By Daniel Crosby • October 6, 2025
Depression + Guilt and Shame "I just hate telling my friends and family how I feel because I feel like such a burden. I’m sure they’re sick of hearing about it by now." One of the lies depression tells us is that we have to carry this thing by alone because no one else wants to help. Guilt and shame are the heaviest lies that we tend to carry but we fight lies with the truth: • Feelings aren’t always facts – Just because you feel like a burden doesn’t mean you are one. That’s what we in the biz call a cognitive distortion — your mind is offering its opinion as fact. • Asking for help is strength, not weakness – When my mom said, “Y’all come help me carry in the groceries,” I never thought she was weak. When we love each other asking for and receiving help should go both ways. It’s an honor to help not a burden. • Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend – If someone you loved felt the way you do, you wouldn’t tell them to keep it to themselves. You’d listen, support, and remind them they matter. You would even be mad at them for NOT telling you. You deserve the same. Homework: Identify your 3am friends. These are people you could call at 3am and they’d come running with no questions asked. If you don’t have any 3am people, then go back and read the post about finding the # 1 Symptom of Depression. It’s time to start building those connections.