How to Survive Raising Kids Together in a Marriage (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 8


How to Survive Raising Kids Together in a Marriage (90 Second Read)     


Full disclosure, I don’t personally have children. However, there are a lot of parenting patterns that I’ve seen over the years of working with couples that seem to work and some that don’t.


Whether It’s parenting, coparenting, or step parenting here are 3 tips and tricks that make all the difference.


1. CONSISTENCY


Your kids need consistency from parent to parent, and in instances of divorce, from home to home. As much possible, try to parent by the same standards. One of the most destructive things for a child is to live in confusion where there are no concrete limits. If mom says, “No soda after 7pm” but dad sneaks the child a Coke and gummy bears in the garage then that creates tension. Kids need to know that mom and dad are a solid team that puts their wellbeing before mom and dad’s differences of opinion.


2. POSITIVE EXPLORATION


The phrase “You can be anything you want to be” is complete garbage. No you can’t. From the day I was born, there’s no chance I would ever play in the NBA. Instead of telling your kids that, help them explore many things to help them find their niche and their group. I did swim lessons, soccer, piano lessons, football, school chorus, school plays, basketball, track, and cross country before I realized that I loved running. Most of those other things lasted 1 season at best. Let your kids try a lot of things and encourage them as they explore.


3. FAILURE + LOVE


Let your kids fail. When I say FAIL, I’m not talking about catastrophic failure. If your teen has been drinking and wants to go out for a drive, then wrestle them to the ground to take away the car keys! If they’re determined not to study for that math test, however, then let them feel the weight of that big red “F” on the paper. If you protect your kids from failing, then they’ll never learn how to be resilient. When the failure happens, pull them in with all your love and help them explore a better option.


HOMEWORK: What areas of parenting do you and your spouse disagree on? Is there a way to connect and, at least, agree on these three ideas above?


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.

Depression and Stagnation

By Daniel Crosby • October 20, 2025
Depression + Stagnation What do you do when you’re doing all the right things and still feel depression lingering? Depression isn’t an on/off switch that goes away overnight. It rarely gets better in an instant. There’s a progression to it. If you’re investing in some of the things we’re talking about in this series CONSISTENTLY then you’ll probably see some positive changes over time. In the meantime, try these ideas to help boost you out of your stagnation that you’re feeling. 1. Acknowledge progress over perfection. You didn’t get here overnight. Where did you begin and where are you now? What has improved? 2. Go serve someone else in a new way – Focusing on others is a good way to boost the way you feel about yourself. 3. Consider a shock to the system. A trip to a new place, a different therapist, a new hobby, a job change, or making a new friend can all make us feel alive again if we’re stagnant. Homework: Finish this statement: “In the last week, the thing I’m the most proud of myself for doing is_______.”
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Depression and Sleep Strugles

By Daniel Crosby • October 13, 2025
Depression + Sleep Struggles Sleep is one of the biggest struggles we face when we’re depressed. Oddly enough the diagnosis manual says “Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day” as one of the symptoms. Whether you can’t sleep at all or you’re sleeping all the time it can really rock your world. Maybe your mind is just spinning with all the jumble of thoughts in your head. Or maybe you have no energy and you’re struggling to just do the basics before going back to bed. Here are 3 ideas to get the sleep routine back on track: 1. Create a predictable wind-down ritual – Early dinner, Herbal tea, Warm bath, Good smelling lotion, Clean sheets and jammies. 2. Try “brain dump” journaling at night – Write down today’s wins and loses as well as tomorrow’s worries so your brain can let go of those things. You can relax better without ruminating on it because it’s written down. 3. Avoid doom scrolling— Replace screens with audio or soft light activity. Soothing. Uplifting reading. Devotional. Positive in/Positive out. If you must watch TV make sure it’s an emotion that competes with depression (funny!) Homework: Try a new bedtime strategy tonight and notice if it helps you wind down a little easier. Your brain and body will thank you tomorrow morning.
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Depression and Guilt & Shame

By Daniel Crosby • October 6, 2025
Depression + Guilt and Shame "I just hate telling my friends and family how I feel because I feel like such a burden. I’m sure they’re sick of hearing about it by now." One of the lies depression tells us is that we have to carry this thing by alone because no one else wants to help. Guilt and shame are the heaviest lies that we tend to carry but we fight lies with the truth: • Feelings aren’t always facts – Just because you feel like a burden doesn’t mean you are one. That’s what we in the biz call a cognitive distortion — your mind is offering its opinion as fact. • Asking for help is strength, not weakness – When my mom said, “Y’all come help me carry in the groceries,” I never thought she was weak. When we love each other asking for and receiving help should go both ways. It’s an honor to help not a burden. • Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend – If someone you loved felt the way you do, you wouldn’t tell them to keep it to themselves. You’d listen, support, and remind them they matter. You would even be mad at them for NOT telling you. You deserve the same. Homework: Identify your 3am friends. These are people you could call at 3am and they’d come running with no questions asked. If you don’t have any 3am people, then go back and read the post about finding the # 1 Symptom of Depression. It’s time to start building those connections.