What to Do If You’re Thinking About Divorce (90 Second Read)
Daniel Crosby • June 13, 2023

Day 11


What to Do If You’re Thinking About Divorce (90 Second Read)


I say half-jokingly to all the couples that see me for premarital counseling: “There will come a time in your marriage when you wonder if you’ve made a BIG mistake in marrying your spouse.”


Marriage is hard. What do you expect when you take two flawed people and put them in that proximity to one another to try to create a life together?


There comes a point, though, where permanently ending the marriage becomes a real possibility in one or both your minds.


Here are several things to consider:


1. SEEK COUNSEL – If you haven’t talked to a wise friend, a pastor, or especially a counselor at length about your decision then you aren’t ready to file for divorce.


2. RESET YOUR EXPECTATIONS – You aren’t ready to file for divorce if you haven’t tried to shed past disappoints of what you pictured marriage to be. Your expectations could be accurate, but they could also be unrealistic.


3. WORK ON YOURSELF – If you haven’t looked in the mirror and asked, “What have I negatively contributed to the failing of our marriage?” AND tried to resolve those flaws, then you aren’t ready to file for divorce.


4. BE PATIENT – If you haven’t given ample time for your marriage to improve while working the above ideas then you aren’t ready to file for divorce. How long is long enough? Probably a lot longer than you think it is. Maybe years!


***A Note on Abuse: If you’re in a truly abusive marriage then get out now! Find a friend or family member to stay with and find safety. Collect your thoughts and begin working the items above to determine whether it’s worth pursuing.


HOMEWORK: Think back on the first time you and your spouse met. Journal the story of your first date together and reminisce. How does that feel to think back on that memory? At one point, you saw something in your spouse that made you fall in love and want to spend your life with them.


As always, if you’re stuck then don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally. I help couples reconnect every day and get back on track to having a marriage they’re excited to go home to.



By Daniel Crosby October 27, 2025
Depression + Professional Help So the big questions is: “How do I know when it’s time to go see a counselor about depression? When is it beyond just trying self-help strategies?” Only you know how you’re feeling internally but here are some signs that it’s time to reach out: • Suicidal thoughts – Call or Text 988 Immediately! • Can’t function with work – You don’t care that there may be consequences for poor performance and you’re slacking on deadlines • Parenting – You’ve given up on typical caretaking duties like healthy meals, cleaning up, or setting healthy boundaries with the kids • Finances – You have a “screw it” mentality where you stop budgeting and just spend to try to find happiness OR You stop paying bills altogether • Hygiene – Your personal hygiene tanks and you don’t care about brushing your teeth, bathing, wearing deodorant, etc. • Isolation – You’ve consistently been avoiding others and turning down attempts of friends and family to pull you out of your slump • Significant change in the way you normally function day to day Call a therapist if you want… • Accountability • An outside perspective • To dig deeper into the “why” • A judgement free zone • New ideas to try Before beginning medication, ask these questions: • “Hey doc! What is your philosophy on prescribing? (Conservative, Experimental, etc?) • “Hey doc! Is there a time limit to how long you will keep me on this medication? • “Hey doc! How will you be measuring how my progress and when to raise/lower dosage and begin or discontinue a medication?” • “Do I feel at peace with how the Dr. explained this medication?” • “Did the Dr. have the heart of a teacher or were they quick to prescribe without hearing me out?” • “Did the Dr. take time with me or rush in and rush out? • “Have I done my own research on the medications the Dr. is recommending?” Homework: If you’re not sure about any of the above, give me a call. I’ll happily do a FREE 15 Minute Consultation Call whether you want to come to see me or not. I’ll give you my professional opinion about what might be the next right step.
By Daniel Crosby October 20, 2025
Depression + Stagnation What do you do when you’re doing all the right things and still feel depression lingering? Depression isn’t an on/off switch that goes away overnight. It rarely gets better in an instant. There’s a progression to it. If you’re investing in some of the things we’re talking about in this series CONSISTENTLY then you’ll probably see some positive changes over time. In the meantime, try these ideas to help boost you out of your stagnation that you’re feeling. 1. Acknowledge progress over perfection. You didn’t get here overnight. Where did you begin and where are you now? What has improved? 2. Go serve someone else in a new way – Focusing on others is a good way to boost the way you feel about yourself. 3. Consider a shock to the system. A trip to a new place, a different therapist, a new hobby, a job change, or making a new friend can all make us feel alive again if we’re stagnant. Homework: Finish this statement: “In the last week, the thing I’m the most proud of myself for doing is_______.”
Graphic for Daniel Crosby Counseling, text states
By Daniel Crosby October 13, 2025
Depression + Sleep Struggles Sleep is one of the biggest struggles we face when we’re depressed. Oddly enough the diagnosis manual says “Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day” as one of the symptoms. Whether you can’t sleep at all or you’re sleeping all the time it can really rock your world. Maybe your mind is just spinning with all the jumble of thoughts in your head. Or maybe you have no energy and you’re struggling to just do the basics before going back to bed. Here are 3 ideas to get the sleep routine back on track: 1. Create a predictable wind-down ritual – Early dinner, Herbal tea, Warm bath, Good smelling lotion, Clean sheets and jammies. 2. Try “brain dump” journaling at night – Write down today’s wins and loses as well as tomorrow’s worries so your brain can let go of those things. You can relax better without ruminating on it because it’s written down. 3. Avoid doom scrolling— Replace screens with audio or soft light activity. Soothing. Uplifting reading. Devotional. Positive in/Positive out. If you must watch TV make sure it’s an emotion that competes with depression (funny!) Homework: Try a new bedtime strategy tonight and notice if it helps you wind down a little easier. Your brain and body will thank you tomorrow morning.