Church Hurt (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • January 18, 2023

Have you ever heard the statement:


“I don’t go to church anymore because the church is full of hypocrites.”


When a person is hurting, beaten down, and disappointed by life and they come to the church with an expectation of receiving help, do we help them?


I mean, do we REALLY help them?


I wonder if those of us in the church often send them away with this message, “Wow, we hate that you’re struggling but stop doing drugs/womanizing/using bad language and then we would be thrilled to help you get your life back on track so you can be just like us.”


Disclaimer: I have never literally heard someone from a church say those words to someone who is hurting. For some reason, though, people walk away from Christians feeling this way.


If I, as a follower of Christ, can’t be vulnerable about my life struggles and my inability to manage my own life well, maybe I too am silently sending this message.


Maybe a better way to begin is through relationship. One of the quickest ways to CONNECTION is through common ground.


“That part of your story really resonates with me.”

“Here’s how I felt when I was going through something like that.”

“Here’s how I am finding relief now on this side of it.”


It is in this place that shame often vanishes.


“Really?”

“You struggle a lot of the time too?”

“You’re just trying to figure out this life one day at a time too?”

”Good! I’m glad I’m not the only one!”


I’ve sat with countless people as we worked through their past church hurt. Counseling is a great way to unpack a lot of those old let-downs and disappointments.


If you or someone you know is struggling with church hurt, then send them my way. I’d love for them to have a chance to meet a hypocritical Christian counselor who doesn’t have all the answers.


Graphic for Daniel Crosby Counseling, text states
By Daniel Crosby October 13, 2025
Depression + Sleep Struggles Sleep is one of the biggest struggles we face when we’re depressed. Oddly enough the diagnosis manual says “Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day” as one of the symptoms. Whether you can’t sleep at all or you’re sleeping all the time it can really rock your world. Maybe your mind is just spinning with all the jumble of thoughts in your head. Or maybe you have no energy and you’re struggling to just do the basics before going back to bed. Here are 3 ideas to get the sleep routine back on track: 1. Create a predictable wind-down ritual – Early dinner, Herbal tea, Warm bath, Good smelling lotion, Clean sheets and jammies. 2. Try “brain dump” journaling at night – Write down today’s wins and loses as well as tomorrow’s worries so your brain can let go of those things. You can relax better without ruminating on it because it’s written down. 3. Avoid doom scrolling— Replace screens with audio or soft light activity. Soothing. Uplifting reading. Devotional. Positive in/Positive out. If you must watch TV make sure it’s an emotion that competes with depression (funny!) Homework: Try a new bedtime strategy tonight and notice if it helps you wind down a little easier. Your brain and body will thank you tomorrow morning.
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By Daniel Crosby October 6, 2025
Depression + Guilt and Shame "I just hate telling my friends and family how I feel because I feel like such a burden. I’m sure they’re sick of hearing about it by now." One of the lies depression tells us is that we have to carry this thing by alone because no one else wants to help. Guilt and shame are the heaviest lies that we tend to carry but we fight lies with the truth: • Feelings aren’t always facts – Just because you feel like a burden doesn’t mean you are one. That’s what we in the biz call a cognitive distortion — your mind is offering its opinion as fact. • Asking for help is strength, not weakness – When my mom said, “Y’all come help me carry in the groceries,” I never thought she was weak. When we love each other asking for and receiving help should go both ways. It’s an honor to help not a burden. • Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend – If someone you loved felt the way you do, you wouldn’t tell them to keep it to themselves. You’d listen, support, and remind them they matter. You would even be mad at them for NOT telling you. You deserve the same. Homework: Identify your 3am friends. These are people you could call at 3am and they’d come running with no questions asked. If you don’t have any 3am people, then go back and read the post about finding the # 1 Symptom of Depression. It’s time to start building those connections.
Depression and Nutrition
By Daniel Crosby September 29, 2025
Depression + Nutrition (PART 2) Ok, so I took all the fun away from eating junk last time. So let’s talk about things that are good fuel for our bodies. 1. Lean proteins: Fish and chicken provide good lean protein which boost our longer term energy and keep us from crashing later in the day. 2. Leafy Greens: Rich in folate, which is linked to improved mood. 3. Blueberries: High in antioxidants and may help protect against oxidative stress, which can contribute to depression. 4. Sweet Potatoes: A good source of vitamin B6, which is involved in the production of neurotransmitters like serotonin. 5. Avocados: Rich in healthy fats and nutrients that can contribute to overall well-being. 6. Dark Chocolate: Contains antioxidants and may improve mood. When you’re eating these foods, you have to get up off the couch to prepare most of them. You just achieved a goal by creating a meal. Now you’re proud of yourself because you did something healthy which helps yourself talk. Now you can share a good recipe with a friend which creates socialization. It all works together! Homework: How did the Yuka App from last week work out? There were probably some surprises in your pantry. This week, look up a healthy recipe, cook it, and notice if how you feel eating something healthy. Bonus: Here’s a fun recipe my wife and I like to cook, especially in the winter months when we’re hankering for something fresh. Sweet Potato Bowls: Roast whole sweet potatoes in the oven until you can stick a knife through it easily. (Should take close to an hour depending on the thickness of the potato Cut open and hollow out the potato into a bowl (It’s going to be really hot!) Top with scoop of black beans – we buy the canned ones (heat on the stove while potatoes cook) Add toppings: ½ Sliced avocado Halved cherry tomatoes Chopped onion Chopped cilantro Sour cream or a drizzle of ranch dressing Salt and pepper to taste