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Help Heal My Marriage - 12. Judgement vs Acceptance
Daniel Crosby • November 5, 2024
12. Judgement vs Acceptance

I had to go to court last week. (Maybe I should mention that I wasn’t the one in trouble.) No one was there because they wanted to be. We were there because something bad had happened.

There’s that tension where we know that eventually the judge is going to seal our fate and past judgement. GUILTY!

In your marriage, have you created an atmosphere in which you are passing JUDGEMENT or one of ACCEPTANCE?

Judgement creates fear and distrust. Judgement will push them further away. 

Acceptance creates vulnerability and safety. Acceptance draws people nearer.

3 Ways to Increase Acceptance:

1. Celebrate Differences 
Embrace and appreciate the differences between you and your partner. Instead of focusing on how you’re different or how you clash, highlight and celebrate these differences as strengths.

2. Respect Boundaries
Understanding and respecting these boundaries helps to build trust and shows that you value each other's autonomy and individuality.

3. Practice Forgiveness
Acknowledging mistakes, both yours and your partner’s, can create an environment where both people feel safe to be themselves without fear of harsh judgment.

Go Time:
The Verdict: “We the jury find this marriage…..” How would you and your partner answer that question? Guilty/Not guilty? Depending on how you answered, it might be time to have a conversation about what to do next.

Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know. daniel@danielcrosbycounseling.com
By Daniel Crosby April 2, 2025
“My Life and Work” by Henry Ford is the autobiography by the famed automaker. Yes, that Ford, like the one in your driveway. Why read this one? One, I’m obsessed with learning. Two, I read things that are interesting to me. Three, I want to be successful and not waste this life God gave me. One way I can succeed is from learning from interesting people who succeeded in the past. Success is relative, and while I don’t want to start a car company, I do want my life to have an impact in some way. Henry Ford’s life and work were fascinating. Three things I learned: 1. Ford had an attitude of persistence. He kept going until he found what worked. Setbacks are not failures, just opportunities to try again. 2. Ford knew that people mattered. While known for his radical and maybe even perfectionistic efficiency when it came to inventing the assembly line, he never lost sight of the value that individual workers have in making that system work. 3. Ford believed in service above profit. He knew that if he gave the customer a good product at a fair price and treated them well then the profits would take care of themselves. What all could we accomplish if we simply lived and worked by those 3 principles?
By Daniel Crosby March 31, 2025
Here's the antidote to numbing, self medicating, and distraction. It's simple. Connection If that antidote is to painful for you, you might want to come chat with me. Together we can make sense of what is getting in your way. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com
By Daniel Crosby March 26, 2025
So if you work in corporate America and have to lead or attend meetings, then this book is a must read for you. Do yourself in those you work with a favor and read it today. If you have ever attended a meeting and thought to yourself, “I am bored out of my mind and this could have easily been done in a short email,” then read this book and you will be entertained. “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni is a phenomenal read. I love the way he writes because he takes what could’ve been a really boring step-by-step business book and he creates a narrative fable in which he teaches us. As I was reading the book, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Yep, that’s why those meetings were so terrible for all those years.” And when I say that, I am pointing a finger back at myself because I helped lead some of those meetings. Most people don’t want to change and most people like the status quo in their comfort. Changing the way you do meetings at your organization is going to create some friction and take some work, but the reward for it on the other end might blow your mind. If you don’t know what to do, then start by picking this book up and learning while being entertained by “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni.
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