Have you ever considered what standards you live by? Sometimes they’re so obvious we don’t even think about them. They’re often automatic. Our standards play an important role in anxiety though.
Here are TWO things that cause our anxiety alarms to sound off:
1. When you don’t have a standard
When we don’t have a standard, we’re like a ship with a dead engine and no rudder. The current will take us anywhere it likes and we feel powerless. Powerlessness: That’ll create come anxiety, right? Increasingly in our world there is an absence of truth. When we don’t have a standard to live by then we don’t know how to react in certain scenarios.
Example: My standard: “Stealing is wrong. I do not steal.” When I’m at a friend’s house and they have a really nice blender sitting on their counter that I would love to have, I already have a preset decision in my mind. “I like their blender but it is theirs and not mine. If I want one, then I have to go get my own.” Easy decision!
Without a standard, though, the “What ifs” start spiraling in our head when we’re faced with a decision.
2. When you have a standard and ignore it
I had a person come into my office over 10 years ago. They were a ball of nerves like I’ve never seen before. Red faced, pressured speech, head lowered, grasping their hair with their hands, and literally wringing their hands. They were struggling! Then I heard the story. They were raised in a Christian home and went to church every week but they had been engaging in a secret illicit extramarital affair for over a year. The guilt and shame was deafening and they were falling apart. They 100% knew the right thing to do yet they were 100% doing the wrong thing. They had ignored their standard and it was tearing them to pieces.
HOMEWORK:
1. What are your top three standards or values that you refuse to budge on?
2. What are some important standards that you’ve tried to teach your kids?
3. Think of a time that you violated one of your standards. Did it stir up some anxiety?
4. What standards do you need to create and live by to lower some of your anxiety?
Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know.
