Retreat - When to Step Back from Anxiety (2 Minute Read)
Daniel Crosby • October 23, 2023

We already said that sometimes we need to push past DISCOMFORT and not let it keep us from doing what is right and good for us.


Other times it may be healthier to RETREAT from the situation that is provoking our anxiety. I use the word RETREAT because it is temporary. We RETREAT now so we can charge forward later.


Here are 4 times when RETREATING from anxiety is the better option:


1. PROMOTING SELF-CARE: Retreating from anxiety can be a form of self-care. Some companies are beginning to require that their employees use up their vacation every year rather than save it. They know that to be at our best we need to get away sometimes. After vacation, we reenter the work world ready to press on.


2. PROBLEM-SOLVING: Retreating from anxiety temporarily can lead to improved problem-solving skills when you return to address the issues with a clearer mind. My 3rd grade teacher gave us a word search to do one day but I couldn’t find that last stinkin’ word. She said, “Just put it down and come back to it later and you’ll find that last word.” She was right! It was right there staring me in the face!


3. PREPARATION: Retreating can be a healthy timeout before intentionally confronting a stressful situation. If I know I’m going to have a particularly stressful day, I prepare. I watch my favorite relaxing show the night before, get to bed on time, and eat a healthy dinner and breakfast. Arguing with your daughter about the length of her skirt then slamming 3 cups of coffee and a Big Mac right before a big job interview probably isn’t going to improve your performance.


4. PEOPLE: Retreating to connect with friends, family, or a good counselor during anxious periods can provide comfort and understanding, which can help alleviate anxiety. Safe people can recharge us so we can step back into the fray and fight more effectively. Just like your phone, you’re at your best when you’re plugged in, connected, and have a full charge.


All 4 of these should be done intentionally and with a plan. We’re NOT burying our head in the sand or avoiding. We’re strategically retreating so we can live to fight better another day.


HOMEWORK:

Go back to your list of anxiety struggles. Which ones so you need to keep pressing in on and which ones should you temporarily retreat from? Make a note of which is which. Come up with a plan for and put a time limit on your retreat items for when you will reengage.


Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know.

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Depression and Self Talk

By Daniel Crosby • September 15, 2025
Depression + Self-Talk Can you hear that little voice in your head? It’s the one when you’re at the grocery store and you were supposed to get 3 things and you can’t remember the 3rd thing. “Dang it, what was that last thing that I needed to get? It wasn’t milk because we have milk. Was it something in the produce section? Ugh, I can’t remember.” Psychologist Ethan Kross write a book about this called “Chatter.” Chatter is when normal factual self-talk changes to darker more accusatory and judgmental words. “You screw everything up. Can’t you ever do anything right?” “No one else struggles with this and here you are frozen and stuck in it doing the same stupid thing over and over again. You’re so pathetic.” Chatter is only going to fuel your depression. Here are 3 ways to quiet the chatter in your head: 1. Separate FACT from ASSUMPTION – • It can only officially be a FACT if someone else has literally said it to you. I heard a quote recently that said, “Imposter syndrome is the fear that other people are judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself.” They aren’t. 2. Identify Negative Beliefs and where they came from – • Negative Beliefs sound like “I” Statements. “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unworthy of love.” You might want to find a good counselor to help you work through these. 3. Journaling – • Write down a response to your own chatter as if you were responding to a friend who came to you asking your opinion about their inner voice. We’re usually kinder to others than we are to ourselves unfortunately. Homework: Take 60 seconds and think about which Negative Belief seems to pop up in your head most often to keep depression alive and well? We all have at least one. What’s yours?
Depression and Movement

Depression and Movement

By Daniel Crosby • September 8, 2025
Depression and Movement Alright, you knew it was coming. This is the 2nd most important way to beat depression. The 1st is Connection. You can’t beat this thing alone. The 2nd is Exercise or Movement. I say movement because when you’re struggling, you probably don’t feel like training for a marathon or joining a CrossFit gym. But when you don’t move at all, you don’t grow at all. Depression tells us to close the blinds and to lay in bed all day long in the dark accomplishing nothing. All that is going to do is stir up more Depression. Movement gives us a small goal to achieve and it get our muscles engaged and our blood and brain chemicals flowing again. You are just simply going to feel more alive. Here are 3 simple ways to start moving again: 1. Begin with gentle movement. • It doesn’t have to involve sweating • Try a yoga video on YouTube or just • Do 5 minutes of stretching 2. Set a reminder to do three 5-minute mood walks during the day • Walk around the building at work • Walk around the house on a rainy day • Notice your breath and the cadence of your arms and legs swinging back and forth 3. Make movement enjoyable • Walk to an enjoyable destination like the local bakery or to your favorite spot on the greenway to get a picture of a waterfall • Listen to your favorite music or podcast • Socialize while moving like the old ladies power walking at the mall Homework: Try doing some sort of new movement this week that’s out of the norm for you and let the rest of us know what you did and if it made you feel better.
Depression and Routine Habits

Depression and Routine Habits

By Daniel Crosby • September 1, 2025
Depression + Routine Habits Ask any Kindergarten teacher if structure and routine is important. I think we crave comfort and consistency of what we know because it makes us feel safe. We like our favorite food at our favorite restaurant and we sit in the same place at church most of the time. But when depression hits, it can throw off our healthy routines and even spiral us into unhealthy habits. If you’re battling some depression you might be letting some stuff slide, like cleaning the house, eating healthy, or getting to work on time. 3 Ways to Reignite Healthy Routines: 1. Write it down – • Write down a checklist of to-do items the night before for what I plan to accomplish the next day. These can be big goal like filing your taxes or small personal hygiene goals like brushing your teeth. 2. Use accountability – • Piggyback onto someone else’s routine. If you know your buddy goes to the gym every morning at 5am, ask if he will call you every morning for a month until you create your own habit. 3. Reward consistency, not intensity, growth, or perfection – • We’re looking for reps. So what if you didn’t talk to anyone at church or sign up to serve in the children’s ministry. You showed up 5 Sundays in a row! That’s fantastic! Now go get ice cream! Homework: Pick one thing you need to get back into the routine of doing and try one of ideas above and tell us how you did.