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Help Heal My Marriage - 11. Christian Expectations in Marriage
Daniel Crosby • October 29, 2024
11. Christian Expectations in Marriage
I read a delightfully painful book a few years ago by Gary Thomas called “Sacred Marriage.”
It made me do some real soul searching. His idea is that maybe God created marriage NOT to make us HAPPY all the time, but to make us more HOLY, to make us more like Him.
In my relationship with God, I often don’t communicate with Him very well, I get mad at Him when He doesn’t do what I want, I cheat on Him with things that I deem more worthy of my attention, and then I come crawling back when those things don’t fulfill me.
What if your marriage was like that? Would you stick with it?
God’s idea for Christian marriage is that we can practice, in just a tiny way, the love He has given us. His challenge is thus: “Daniel, do you see how I respond to you when you aren’t a great bride in our relationship? I still love you anyway don’t I? Now go and do that with your wife.”
Go Time:
No steps this time. This is more about a change in posture or philosophy. Lean into your spouse with grace and humility not with pridefulness and judgement. What if you loved them in spite of those little flaws that drive you nuts, recognizing that you have some of your own? See why reading that book stung a little?
Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know. daniel@danielcrosbycounseling.com
“My Life and Work” by Henry Ford is the autobiography by the famed automaker. Yes, that Ford, like the one in your driveway. Why read this one? One, I’m obsessed with learning. Two, I read things that are interesting to me. Three, I want to be successful and not waste this life God gave me. One way I can succeed is from learning from interesting people who succeeded in the past. Success is relative, and while I don’t want to start a car company, I do want my life to have an impact in some way. Henry Ford’s life and work were fascinating. Three things I learned: 1. Ford had an attitude of persistence. He kept going until he found what worked. Setbacks are not failures, just opportunities to try again. 2. Ford knew that people mattered. While known for his radical and maybe even perfectionistic efficiency when it came to inventing the assembly line, he never lost sight of the value that individual workers have in making that system work. 3. Ford believed in service above profit. He knew that if he gave the customer a good product at a fair price and treated them well then the profits would take care of themselves. What all could we accomplish if we simply lived and worked by those 3 principles?
Here's the antidote to numbing, self medicating, and distraction. It's simple. Connection If that antidote is to painful for you, you might want to come chat with me. Together we can make sense of what is getting in your way. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com
So if you work in corporate America and have to lead or attend meetings, then this book is a must read for you. Do yourself in those you work with a favor and read it today. If you have ever attended a meeting and thought to yourself, “I am bored out of my mind and this could have easily been done in a short email,” then read this book and you will be entertained. “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni is a phenomenal read. I love the way he writes because he takes what could’ve been a really boring step-by-step business book and he creates a narrative fable in which he teaches us. As I was reading the book, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Yep, that’s why those meetings were so terrible for all those years.” And when I say that, I am pointing a finger back at myself because I helped lead some of those meetings. Most people don’t want to change and most people like the status quo in their comfort. Changing the way you do meetings at your organization is going to create some friction and take some work, but the reward for it on the other end might blow your mind. If you don’t know what to do, then start by picking this book up and learning while being entertained by “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni.
