Help Heal My Marriage! - 3. Quick to Listen...Slow to Anger
Daniel Crosby • September 3, 2024
3. Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak, Slow to Anger
In the Bible, James writes, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19 NIV)
Saying more words…repeatedly…louder is not going to change your spouse’s mind or heal your marriage.
Your spouse may not be fighting to win, but just to feel heard. Have you really listened to him and heard where he is coming from on this issue?
3 Ways to Listen and Temper Your Anger:
1. Call a TimeoutIf the conversation is so heated that we can’t keep talking, ask for a timeout. Then state a time that we will get back together and continue the conversation.2. Prepare to ListenCome to the conversation mentally prepared to listen. Bring a notebook and a pen. Tell your wife that you want to hear what is hurting her and are going to jot down some notes. If she says critical things, write them down. Repeat back what you wrote down. Thank her for sharing honestly and that you’d like to think on it before responding. No defending here, only genuinely listening.3. Talk Back…Sort ofTalk to your close trusted person or counselor and read them the things your spouse is asking for. Ask the hard questions, “What parts of this do I agree with?” “What parts of this am I willing to compromise on?”
It’s Go Time:
Get your mind in listening mode and ready to take some punches. Stay emotionally controlled but be prepared for the hits. This is going to give you a leap forward in healing your marriage. How? Because your spouse will begin to feel heard.
Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know.

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