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Help Heal My Marriage - 10. Friends or Foes?
Daniel Crosby • October 22, 2024
10. Friends or Foes?

Marriages often implode when the hopeful belief we’ve always had about our marriage is unexpectedly exchanged for a contradictory fearful or hopeless belief.

You married your spouse because they seemed different than all the other people you had dated. They are “the one!” You knew that if you could spend the rest of your life with them then they’d have your back and you’d always have a safe place to come back to.

Suddenly, a financial deception, an affair, or an exposed secret rocks your world. Your spouse goes from your greatest ally and protector to your most feared adversary and enemy. 

CONFUSION!

3 Ways to Turn Foe Back to Friend:

1. Reminisce
Retell your spouse the story of how you met and why you picked them from your perspective. Those were better days and remembering the good can help us get through the bad.

2. Responsibility
Take responsibility for how you’ve not been a trustworthy friend to your spouse. Tell your spouse how you’ve messed up and let them know that you get how your mistake made them doubt your safety.

3. Request
Ask your spouse if they are willing to let you slowly rebuild trust again. Ask them what types of things they would need to see to begin to be able to trust you again.

Go Time:
Sit down with your spouse tonight and have fun retelling the story of how you met and your first date.

Every day I help hurting frazzled people by walking with them as they get back on the path toward becoming who God created them to be. Shoot me an email if there’s anything I can do to help you or someone you know. daniel@danielcrosbycounseling.com
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Here's the antidote to numbing, self medicating, and distraction. It's simple. Connection If that antidote is to painful for you, you might want to come chat with me. Together we can make sense of what is getting in your way. www.danielcrosbycounseling.com
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So if you work in corporate America and have to lead or attend meetings, then this book is a must read for you. Do yourself in those you work with a favor and read it today. If you have ever attended a meeting and thought to yourself, “I am bored out of my mind and this could have easily been done in a short email,” then read this book and you will be entertained. “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni is a phenomenal read. I love the way he writes because he takes what could’ve been a really boring step-by-step business book and he creates a narrative fable in which he teaches us. As I was reading the book, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Yep, that’s why those meetings were so terrible for all those years.” And when I say that, I am pointing a finger back at myself because I helped lead some of those meetings. Most people don’t want to change and most people like the status quo in their comfort. Changing the way you do meetings at your organization is going to create some friction and take some work, but the reward for it on the other end might blow your mind. If you don’t know what to do, then start by picking this book up and learning while being entertained by “Death by Meeting” by Patrick Lencioni.
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